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This Haunted New England Fishing Village Used to Be a Lot Cooler 175 Years Ago “I’ve been lurking in my house for 175 years and now everything around me is suddenly much worse. Those walking organ farms have uprooted my nightshade and planted a drought-resistant succulent garden. They’ve replaced the stained glass with subway tile.” by Leslie Ylinen
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I Know You’re Probably Still Traumatized from the Halloween Night Spree-Killings, But Are You Available to Babysit This Weekend? “Of course, Tommy is traumatized too. Everyone seems to forget that his life was in danger! If we didn’t want to see the new ‘Pink Panther’ movie so badly, we wouldn’t even consider leaving him right now.” by Ryan C. Martin
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What the Cat Will Do “The cat will make you wish you weren’t a cat person until that moment each day when he gets tired and sleeps in whatever crook of you he can find and your heart turns into an envelope: it opens, the cat climbs inside, and you are in love.” by Rachel Hinkel-Wang
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I Am Proud to Announce That Starting Today, Our Company Still Sucks Shit “But don’t worry! Our overall mission remains the same—it’s still about sucking total fucking shit, ruining as many lives as possible, and taking an absolute goddamn hammer to democracy.” by Eli Grober
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We Cannot Refer to These Victims of Murder as Victims of Their Own Murder “If the American justice system is unfair to anyone, it’s young white men who have allegedly done terrible things. As judges, it’s our job to make sure their feelings aren’t hurt and that we accurately label and condemn the real criminals: the people who got in their way.” by Bobbie Armstrong
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September 2, 2021 Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 22, 2021 It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 8, 2021 A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
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October 14, 2021 Academic Job Market or Squid Game?
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October 26, 2021 Quiz: Is Your Child Two Years Old?
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October 28, 2021 Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas for Straight Men
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October 29, 2021 Short Conversations with Poets: Paul Muldoon
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October 28, 2021 Notes from the Infusion Center: An Excerpt from Flowers in the Dark
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October 27, 2021 Short Conversations with Poets: Diane Seuss
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October 25, 2021 Short Conversations with Poets: Nate Klug
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October 21, 2021 An Interview with Farah Ali About Her New Book, People Want to Live
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September 20, 2021 Dear McSweeney’s Crossword Puzzle
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September 20, 2021 McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Shelly Oria, Editor of Indelible in the Hippocampus: Writings from the Me Too Movement
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October 28, 2021 Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas for Straight Men
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October 28, 2021 Literary Desserts of the Damned
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October 28, 2021 Beaver of Fine Arts: Your Costume Says It All: The Six Creative Types on Halloween
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October 27, 2021 Halloween Costumes We Already Have in Our Closet
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October 27, 2021 An Open Letter to Tiffany & Co. About Their Advertising Campaign for the Ring That Helps Women Remember They Survived Cancer
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